The Vow: Season 2, Episode 5 “The Room”

We open with Keith having one of his SuPeR SeCReT meetings with the Nxivm board. With Keith, secret means he’s plotting. There would be no need for the secret part otherwise.

He asks them what is the best way to handle a friend or a child that has become delusional or destructive? “Exile,” he answers for them. Not to punish, mind you, but to “rehabilitate.” Perhaps for a period of time or maybe forever. It would be “the ultimate shunning,” Keith says. Intro.

We hear various reporters say a woman, Daniela, who was confined to a room by Keith will be testifying today. Moira Penza tells us Daniela’s family was systematically destroyed by Keith.

We cut to sketch renderings of Daniela in court. She testifies her family was close knit and quite happy. They genuinely enjoyed each other’s company and Mariana, Daniela’s older sister, was her best friend.

Moira Penza tells us Nxivm was a well-respected organization in Mexico and Daniela’s whole family were taking ESP courses. Keith had forged a very close bond with everyone and, Nancy Salzman tells us, they all saw him as a mentor, teacher and guru. They believed Keith was the most trustworthy and ethical of people.

The family came to Albany to take some courses and then returned to Mexico, leaving Daniela and her sister Mariana behind. Daniela would be heading off to Switzerland soon for school and as a gift, her parents had paid for the two sisters to take a 16 day intensive together.

Nancy thinks the parents probably thought Keith and Pam Cafritz were a couple (as opposed to Pam being one of many). Pam gave Keith credibility, because everyone saw her as “like a saint.” They must have felt their daughters would be in good hands, Nancy says.

Barbra Bouchey tells us suddenly Mariana and Pam were “hooked at the hip.” Pam told Barbra that Mariana was like a little sister. “I’m like, okay,” Barbra says, in a skeptical tone. Soon after, Nancy says, Daniela started hanging out with Keith. They became like a little family with the four of them, Pam, Mariana, Daniela and Keith.

I am really slow, because I have watched this episode many times and I never grasped the filmmakers were letting us know, discreetly, Pam and Mariana were sleeping together. I read that elsewhere. In general, even EXSPians don’t really talk about Pam that much, it seems. Maybe it’s because she died and can’t defend herself. Some people have strong feelings about that sort of thing. But a few have said Pam enabled and helped Keith do some horrible shit. At times she acted as like a pimp for him, comparing her to Ghislaine Maxwell. I guess she creates conflicting emotions in some people.

We cut to Nancy who tells us Keith told her Daniela was brilliant, “Like Mega Society brilliant.” You’ve heard of the Mega Society, right? It’s that organization like Mensa, but you can get their take home test from the back of a comic book. Keith scored a 240 IQ on his Mega test. That’s 80 points higher than Albert Einstein’s guesstimated IQ of 160. So, you know, impressive.

In all seriousness, it was obvious to everyone Daniela was very intelligent. She was supposed to be leaving for Switzerland soon, but Keith told Daniela not to go. He would teach her himself. Nancy tells us Daniela’s first job was to follow Keith around all day filming his every move. A record of Keith’s brilliance for future generations, you see. Very important work.

We see a clip where Keith complains nobody catches “my humanity and my humor.” Dani says she has footage of him playing tennis and volleyball. “But you don’t have me jumping over someone,” he says. We cut to Keith jumping over a couple of his minions. A great demonstration of his “humor.” What a goofy charmer he is! Barf.

Keith had Dani read all these complex science books he owned, but he hadn’t read himself. Then, she would write a summary report of each. That way Keith wouldn’t have to make any actual effort, but he could fake it like he had. She never got paid for any of the various assignments Keith gave her.

Dani testifies since she was on a visitor’s visa, the company couldn’t figure out a way to pay her legally. That’s bullshit, of course. If Keith had wanted someone to sort out the visa situation, they would have hopped to it. Not to mention they could have at least given her an allowance since she was tasked with doing odd jobs at Keith’s request. But you know Keith didn’t want that. So, she had “no structure, no job and no legal way to make money.”

About a year after Dani had moved to Albany, one day, on impulse, she stole money from the admin office. She returned it immediately, but feeling guilty, she confessed to Keith. Keith made her confess to Nancy, too.

“He caused me… not to like her,” Nancy says. Nancy came to think of Dani as “sneaky” and says Keith would tell her about other things Dani did that were “problematic.” Dani noticed everybody in the community seemed to be pulling away from her. Keith was the only one who was standing by her and continuing to be her friend. They became even closer.

Dani confided in Keith her parents were getting a divorce. He took that moment to suddenly kiss her. At 17, she was too young, Keith told her later, so, it was best if she didn’t tell anyone. (Keith was in his late 40’s or early 50’s at this time, I believe.) Instead, Keith would tell Dani all about his sex life and would flirt with her with heavy sexual undertones. But then he’d pull back and say she was too young. As her 18th birthday approached, he started flirt-teasing her, asking, “What do you want for your birthday?”

Shy and completely inexperienced, Dani told him by writing S-E-X in the palm of his hand. He asked her if she was feeling insecure and she said she was about her body. She felt like she was fat. He replied she needed to lose weight and his sexual energy is blocked when a woman is overweight. Dani felt rejected. A few days later he told her “it was time.”

We cut to journalist for The New York Post, Emily Saul. She expresses disgust and calls the power dynamic between Dani and Keith “so messed up.” She lists all the ways Dani was being manipulated and hurt by Keith, while there were no ethical checks on him at all.

We cut back to Dani who testifies she became part of Keith’s inner circle. As such, she spent a lot of time at “Flintock,” Keith’s house on Flintock Lane. Moira tells us Keith’s house was really only the hang out place for him and the inner circle of his harem. She doesn’t use that word, but that’s what was going on. We see a gross clip of Keith being massaged by various women while he lies on the floor.

We cut to Barbra Bouchey outside the courthouse. She’s still processing what she heard in court. Barbra was with Keith around this time, but didn’t know about Lauren Salzman or Daniela being involved with Keith, “The jurors have to understand that this is a very clever, masterful, artful manipulation of people. It’s a chess game and he’s been playing it for years.” Keith used sex to manipulate and control Daniela so he could take her mind, Barbra says.

I was surprised Keith had acknowledged Daniela’s exceptional intelligence. Given his misogyny, I thought he’d be too prideful to recognize that in any female. But as intelligent as Daniela was—far more than Keith pretended to be I’m sure—she was still a kid. And she was no predator. I think he wanted to control her mind for the purpose of breaking her because he could. That’s all. It was just a game to him.

Keith involved Daniela in illegal activities, too. He had her hack into the computers of people he considered his enemies, such as Edgar Bronfman.

We cut to Nancy who says, “We were a little tiny three million dollar business and we ended up on the cover of Forbes.” That would not have happened without somebody making it happen behind the scenes. “…is what Keith said,” Nancy adds. Though it certainly sounds like she agrees with him. Edgar Bronfman was interviewed for the article, because his daughters Clare and Sara were all wrapped up in NXIVM. He put it on record he believed it was a cult.

The Forbes article has been discussed in a previous episode, but I’ll comment on it again. I’m sure Edgar Bronfman pulled some strings, but Forbes magazine will always be interested in the lives of billionaires. Edgar Bronfman, with two daughters who stood to inherit a large portion of his fortune, involved in an organization he thought was a cult, was a pretty interesting story. (Besides, Edgar was right.) The issue wasn’t Nxivm’s net worth, Nancy, it was the Bronfman’s.

Keith told Daniela the illegal activities he had her do were for the purpose of advancing the greater good. They were doing “unethical things ethically.” Keith made all the people he wanted to control complicit in his crimes. When Daniela had a problem with her visa, he had her sneak back into the country illegally.

Keith decided the rest of Daniela’s family—her parents, Adriana and Hector, her younger sister, Camila and her younger brother, Adrian —should all come to Albany, too. Keith seemed especially interested in Camila. Nancy tells us Keith called Camila “V.C.” Only later did Nancy learn it stood for “virgin Camila.” Keith had Camila move into a house far away from where Daniela and her family were living. Nancy says Camila went from being “very sweet to, as time went on, more and more withdrawn.” She tells us she and many others didn’t even know where Camila lived. Keith said it was necessary to keep her location secret, because her mother had been “very invasive” and Camila wanted her privacy. Daniela testifies she believes Camila was isolated for “easy access.”

When Daniela asked Keith if he was having sex with Camila, he said yes. Some girls are more emotionally mature than others, he told her. Implying that Daniela had not been, which is why he had waited until Daniela was 18. Camila was only 15 when Keith started a sexual relationship with her. And while Daniela felt concerned for her sister, she also felt jealous that Keith saw Camila as being more emotionally mature than she was. Just as Keith intended. Daniela tells the court she wishes she had just taken Camila away and saved her from him.

By now Keith was having sex with Daniela and both of her sisters. We cut to prosecutor Moira Penza who tells us Daniela’s family had been very close knit until Keith came into their lives.

We cut to defense attorney Marc Agnifilo outside the courtroom. He says he’s worried the jury will judge Keith for his “questionable behavior” and “bad judgement.” He describes Keith as living “a radically different lifestyle.” It’s not a crime though, that people have felt hurt by him, Marc says.

Daniela tells the court she started having feelings for another man. They kissed one night after volleyball. He was around her age and their connection felt real and true. Daniela had assumed Keith, being her closest friend, would understand and wouldn’t want to stand in the way. It never entered her mind to not confide in him.

Keith was enraged. Daniela had never seen him angry before. He told her she was no longer “pure” and she had committed an ethical breach. He locked himself in the bathroom, refusing to come out and talk to her. One of Keith’s harem, Karen Unterreiner, told Daniela to leave, but she was determined to try to resolve their fight. His behavior was so nuts, Daniela was genuinely confused.

Eventually he came out of the bathroom and ran up the stairs. Daniela chased him as he ran into Pam’s room. He grabbed her by the arm and threw her down on the floor then ran away again. The fight was over.

Overnight, Danielle became completely shunned. She wasn’t allowed at any community events at all, including volleyball, because Keith would be there. She became isolated from everyone. Karen tells us Dani was painted as “awful, nasty, prideful” to the community. Keith felt her pride needed to be broken or she would be lost as a person.

Daniela was told to go into a room stripped of everything but a mattress—she needed to have no distractions she was told—to figure out how to heal her ethical breach. She had the choice of returning to Mexico with no papers, no money and without her family, who were sided with Keith. Or, she could do as she was instructed. With no allies in the community either, she complied. She wrote to Keith every day apologizing, but nothing worked.

Lauren Salzman was the only person who came into the room and acted as a go-between for Daniela and Keith. She and Daniela only talked about Keith. And he was the only one who had the authority to decide when Daniela had healed her breach. Her parents had no say in the matter.

Lauren and Keith exchanged emails where Lauren would tell him things Daniela had said and Keith would advise Lauren on what to say in reply. Daniela had written a letter that said, “Let me out, I’m coming undone.” Keith advised Lauren to not give in to her “tantrums.”

We cut to a video of Keith about to begin a training session with a large group of people. A middle aged blonde woman goes up to Keith and kisses him on the lips. One of the things that really started to nauseate me was how many times we see Keith kiss people on the lips in this doc series. The Vow filmmakers made sure we really understood how constant this was, because everybody did it. I think the filmmakers were grossed out too, and wanted to share that feeling with us. Thanks, guys. In all seriousness, this ritual alone is such a cult element of the ESP community.

Karen tells us Keith held this training session right before Daniela was banished to the room. The topic of the training was community. Keith tells the group they all have to work at being members of the community and to think about what they bring into the community. Keith says there might be someone in the community who is being destructive to the community. Everyone in the community must be willing to to do “the most distasteful of activities” to help that destructive person get better. By doing so, the people in the community will be “the agents of change.”

Community community community. Keith loved to use that word. He used it constantly. Ironic, given he has no idea what the fuck it actually means.

Daniela’s family was at this meeting. The entire point, Karen says, was so Keith could prime them to buy into his plan for Daniela. Nancy says Keith enrolled the whole family into solving “the problem of Dani.”

We cut to an audio clip of Keith talking to Daniela’s mother, Adriana. A translator is there, because though she speaks English, she must have felt she needed to make sure she was understanding everything Keith was saying. Adriana expresses confusion about the entire situation. She understands Keith is very upset with Daniela, but she has no idea what happened between them.

I’m not exaggerating when I say I find this segment incredibly difficult to listen to. In the most fucking fake voice, Keith gently asks, “Do you know the things Dani did?” Of course, she doesn’t, because Dani didn’t do anything. Keith tells her Dani had a very unique position with him and “she did a lot of damage that cannot be reversed.” He doesn’t say what the “damage” is, but he doesn’t have to. He knows internally Adriana is cringing with shame. The whole family idolizes this guy and he’s saying her ethically corrupt daughter has caused him irreparable harm.

Keith goes on. In his calculated soft and gentle voice, Keith explains Dani is very spoiled and manipulative. Adriana takes responsibility for “creating a monster.” Keith tells her Daniela’s dad, Hector, must be made to understand and take responsibility, too. Everyone must be stricter with Dani, Keith says, because it will be better for her. “Otherwise she’ll play games for the rest of her life.” Adriana offers her help and trust. Keith makes some quip basically calling Daniela a con artist.

Moira says it’s hard to fully explain the absolute trust Daniela’s family had in Keith. He was their spiritual mentor and they did not doubt him in any way.

Daniela was desperate to hold onto her family and that was the biggest reason she stayed in the room. She didn’t want to lose them. Her family brought Dani her meals, but they would leave them outside of the door and wouldn’t talk to her. Dani testifies she broke pretty quickly and started to have episodes where she would spiral down. Afterwards, she would be numb for days. After nearly two years of this isolation, Dani had become suicidal. She began to plan how she would do it.

One day, Daniela looked out of the window of her room and saw a cardinal she had been tracking. The bird had built a nest and had babies the spring before, but had taken off during winter. Now the cardinal was back.* Daniela testifies she doesn’t know why, but seeing that bird made her want to fight. She felt this sense of freedom and thought, “Go fuck yourselves. I’m going to live.” She left the room. “I was done.”

*I added some details I got from “Don’t Call It A Cult” by Sarah Berman.

I wanted to add that I read in Berman’s book that after Daniela left the room, she went straight to The Sport’s Barn to confront Keith. When he saw her approaching him, he ran away like the weak-ass bitch that he is and literally hid.

We cut to Emily, after the day’s testimony. She tells us she didn’t expect the trial to be so emotionally grueling. She thought she had become pretty detached as a courthouse journalist and nothing really got to her anymore. But this case is different. She thinks the prosecution has been quite effective at creating emotional investment in people. She has developed a loathing for Keith that feels personal. Daniela’s testimony will stay with her for a long time.

We hear audio of Keith after the day’s testimony. Sounding wigged, he whines there was nothing presented in court “that was criminal, that was bad intended, that was immoral and that wasn’t considered.” Dani, Keith says, was told she couldn’t be in the community or she had to figure out how she was going to be in the community. Because Keith loves that word community. Dani had the “option” to go into the room while she figured it out, he says. She promised to write a book report (???) which she didn’t do. It was supposed to be for the weekend. Complaining complaining complaining she was in the room 24/7. But she lied constantly about that. “It’s not true!” Keith sputters.

Hearing this, I get the impression Keith sensed the change of energy in the courtroom after Daniela’s testimony. Or perhaps, he could just see it on the jurors’ faces. But we know Emily was not the only one who had developed a loathing for Keith that felt personal.

We cut to Marc Agnifilo. Talking to the filmmakers during a court break, he goes full sleaze. Maybe the room was appropriate, maybe it was too much pressure. Maybe her very successful, very capable and very intelligent father agreed to the punishment for a reason. Marc focuses on Daniela’s dad, because of her parents, Hector was the one who had not turned against Keith. (And sadly, still hasn’t as of 2024.) All the facts aren’t out yet, Marc promises.

We hear testimony from the day with Marc questioning Daniela on cross. He implies she understood her punishment. There was a plan and she had a clear understanding of what was expected of her. Daniela denies this. Her family knew about it and approved of the punishment. He points out the room was unlocked and she could have walked out at any time.

We cut to Moira who tells us psychological coercion has nothing to do with being physically forced to do something. We cut to Karen who tells us that, if you’re outside of the situation, it can be hard to understand the impact of years of psychological manipulation by Keith.

We cut to Nancy who says it seems like Keith went after the whole family much like he went after her family. She expresses sadness for what happened to Daniela and for Mariana (who is still loyal as of 2024.) But Nancy feels the most for Camila. She calls her “the most damaged” by Keith.

Nancy says she had thought Keith was innocent. But then she read the texts between Camila and Keith the prosecution would be presenting in court. She had called her lawyer to tell him she had been wrong and Keith had done very bad things. I guess this was after she had already pled guilty. Because earlier in this doc, she was still resentful and thought Keith was innocent even after she had pled.

The close out song, according to the credits, is called “Regret” by Bonnie Piesse. But I couldn’t find it on her YouTube page so, I’m not sure if that is correct. I tried to find it on Google using some lyrics, but no dice. It’s a good song though and fits so well with this episode.

Coming up: It’s the last episode, “Crime and Punishment.” We will learn about texts between Camila and Keith going back years. Keith had saved them all. We will see how Keith and some loyalists are handling his conviction. We will hear victim impact statements. And we will find out Keith’s sentence.