We open with the usual mini recap with clips from the previous episode. Most noteworthy is Aaron making out with Christi which they didn’t actually show in episode 3. We only saw the chaste pecks.
Chris, our vapid host, introduces Aaron’s childhood buddies, siblings Melissa and Ryan, who have known him since they were all babies. They will interview each bachelorette asking them “compatibility questions” which will determine who gets to go on the next one on one dates with Aaron. Two women will be chosen. The rest will be stuck doing some more group dates.
I would prefer the group dates. Aaron has not revealed himself to be remotely interesting or a good conversationalist. I think I’d feel uncomfortable spending alone time with him. Then again, competing in a pageant type set up wouldn’t be my bag either. In general, I lack the necessary drive to do this crap in the first place.
The first interview question is, “What is one thing you’d change about yourself?” What an inane boring question. It’s the kind you’re always asked in insipid job interviews. You’re supposed to say things like, “I’m a perfectionist” or “I’m a workaholic.” For this situation the best answer would probably be something like, “I can’t stand it when I gain a few pounds” or “I don’t like confrontation.”
Gwen says she can be indecisive. Christi says she can be emotional, “but not in a bad way!” Texas Heather says, “In God’s eyes, I think I’m perfect.” That is the kind of pageant answer that hasn’t worked since the 70’s. Maybe not even then. Mainly because it’s corny and a dodge.
Favorite movie? Shannon answers like she’s barely aware of the concept of what a movie is, “My favorite movie…?” Hayley says The Parent Trap. Shannon’s still trying to figure it out, “What was the one where the guy escapes from prison…?” Angela says Hope Floats. Shannon, “…he snuck out of jail…?” “Shawshank,” Ryan tells her. “Yeah, that one.”
How important is sex in a relationship? Texas Heather says she looks at it as “making love to the person you’re attracted to.” That wasn’t really the question and her answer carries the same eye rolling bs of her previous answer. Brooke says something about how some people think you gotta test drive the car before you buy it. Oof. Not that Aaron would disagree with her. Kyla says she’s a virgin so, she’s the wrong person to ask. She’s wearing that choker I saw in her audition video from episode one that gave her a hippy vibe. Her hair—big curls with those frosty streaks of highlights—clashes with that though.
Melissa asks which they’d prefer, candlelight or candle wax? She says it in a tone that indicates she finds the question idiotic. Not Texas Heather says, “Omigod! ….candle wax.” She’s not wearing her contacts and looks cute in her glasses. Helene says candlelight. She makes it clear she doesn’t find the candle wax idea too appealing. Hayley says, “My grandparents are watching! …umm, both.”
Helene “wins” the first one on one date with Aaron. Christi looks disappointed. Ryan says that Helene is a “little more of a challenge” for Aaron and he “needs that,” because it keeps him “innerested.” The date will be a concert night for two “Come As You Are.” We then hear Aaron say, “Helene is a challenge to a certain extent” but she has a natural beauty he loves! Aaron is 28 years old. He needs to stop talking about women like they’re a sport or a work out.
In a red Thunderbird, Aaron drives Helene to Nicole Miller, the designer clothing store. Does that label still exist? I don’t even know. We see the car driving and you can hear Helene’s laugh above everything. Even her laugh sounds like it has a Philly accent.
The shop has been closed especially for them. Aaron starts looking through the clothes. He wants to check out a red dress he saw because red is his “weakness.” Helene points to some clothes she says are more her taste. “Nothing too crazy,” she tells him.
Helene tries on a hideous pair of pants with a tube top that Aaron picked out for her. He’s proud of his selection. He thinks the pants look great on her. Helene does have a figure that wears clothes well. The problem is the pants are ugly and the outfit is tacky. Helene says she’ll think about it. She covers her butt with her hands heading back into the dressing room, because she thinks they are too tight.
She models some black dresses she likes for Aaron, but he’s lukewarm on them. She then puts on the red dress he said he liked earlier. She tells him she thinks the pants are “totally out.” Aaron tells her he wouldn’t be so fixated on the pants if she didn’t look “so damn good” in them.
After trying on a few more black dresses Aaron’s unenthused about, she comes out wearing the pants. She’s swapped out the top to something a tad more tasteful than what Aaron originally chose. When he sees her, Aaron drawls, “What are you doin’, huhh?!” He’s teasing her, but yuck, he sounds so patronizing. “I thought yew liked this one betturrr,” Helene sing-songs. Aaron tells us she looks “smokin’ in them.” They hug and Helene said she decided to bend her rules for him.
Honestly, I can’t stand the chemistry between these two. Or should I say the lack of chemistry. Aaron is very obviously attracted to her, but their energy feels so discordant to me. Just watching them makes me uncomfortable. Part of the reason is Helene never seems all that relaxed. Though that may be to do with the cameras that accompany them everywhere and are right up close, rather than her feelings about Aaron. We’ll see. Aaron tells us Helene choosing to wear the pants is her opening up and showing the more outgoing side of herself that he knew was there all along. He is such a dope. It’s a pair of pants, Aaron.
Back at the house, Christi is chatting with Melissa doing a charm offensive. Christi tells Melissa she fits in perfectly and she’s so glad Melissa and Ryan are here. Melissa says, “Thank you. That’s so nice.” These two look so much alike they could be sisters.
We cut to Texas Heather who says Christi was really putting on an act and monopolizing Melissa’s time. She was stuck to her like glue and no one could get a word in edgewise. It’s great that Christi is sticking to her strategy of being ultra clingy as a means to win people over. Maybe later she can go on an extended crying jag.
Christi tells us she spent “a lot of time with Melissa.” Her intuition tells her she will be chosen to go on the next one on one date with Aaron. Melissa and Ryan have had the opportunity to see how fun Christi is, because she really is a fun person! She says she hopes she can show Aaron the fun side of her personality, too. Yeah, my idea of a “fun person” is someone who treats it like a job skill.
Aaron and Helene arrive at the Hollywood bowl. There is a string quartet playing onstage. The bowl is a huge outdoor theatre and the whole place is empty. “Kewwuhhl,” Helene says. Once seated they toast with champagne. Aaron thanks Helene for coming out and spending time with him. “Oh. You’re welcome,” Helene says. The enthusiasm!
Dinner is served. Helene says, “I almost feel like I’ve known you for a little bit or something. Not that I have known you for a little bit. I just feel like I have… You know what I mean?” Aaron replies that’s a good thing. They are both so articulate. I’m sure the conversation flowed as they got to know each other.
After they eat, they slow dance onstage next to the quartet. As we watch them, Aaron says in voiceover he doesn’t want to get too close to any single woman right now. What a healthy approach! I can’t imagine what could go wrong with such a setup. Aaron says their dancing was the most romantic and intimate part of the night.
Watching the two of them shuffle awkwardly to the music is like watching an unspoken power struggle. Helene seems determined to keep somewhat of a formal distance, like you would see with two people who aren’t completely comfortable with one another yet. Aaron seems determined to pull her in closer. She relents and puts her arms around him while still trying to maintain a respectable space between them. I feel like how they are dancing sums up the dynamic of their entire relationship so far.
After dancing, Aaron thanks Helene for sharing the evening with him. He doesn’t think he would have had as much fun with anyone else. Helene says she had a lot fun, too. Aaron asks, “Will you kiss me?” For a few seconds, that feel interminable, Helene, who is kind of leaning away from him, doesn’t answer. Aaron is practically grabbing her head to pull her closer. He’s acting like he’s stroking her hair, but like when they were dancing, there’s tension. Finally, she says, “Yeeeaahh.”
Right as they start kissing, tastefully, no tongue, fireworks go off. “Awww, that’s kewwwl,” Helene says sounding insincere. It’s cheesy is what it is. In voiceover, Helene says with Aaron getting to know so many women, she doesn’t want to get her feelings hurt. But the more she gets to know him, the more she likes him.
It’s the next day and back at the manse, the next gift box arrives. The group date will be at the beach. It will be Gwen, Kyle, Hayley.
We cut to the kitchen. Ryan is hanging out with some of the bachelorettes. Texas Heather asks him who he thinks has had a boob job. You know, normal conversation. Kyla is mentioned as we cut to the beach and the camera zooms in on Kyla’s chest. Subtle. Someone mentions Gwen and the camera zooms in. Being catty, Brooke says Gwen had a breast lift rather than implants.
We cut to the beach. Attempts at surfing. As the sun sets, they do a group hug and Aaron thanks them for a great day. Gwen tells us she got the “friends” date. She thinks Aaron sees them as buddies.
It’s the next day and the next gift box has arrived. Texas Heather reads the names: Texas Heather, Not Texas Heather, Angela, Shannon and… Christi! Texas Heather had to rub it in because this means Christi didn’t get the one on one date she hoped for. Brooke is the chosen one. All the women cheer for Brooke because she got the big prize! Aaron wants to spend alone time with her! Yay! Brooke looks thrilled, like she just won Miss America. She makes an emotional I’m-about-to-cry face as she hugs Melissa in gratitude. Melissa says she and Ryan think Brooke is a great match for Aaron. They are wrong, in my opinion; she’s too forthright, but I’ll get into it later. Melissa tells us she and Ryan are rooting for her.
The group date is going to the amusement park. We see the gang on the roller coaster and other rides. We cut to Aaron and Texas Heather on the Ferris wheel chatting. Heather is passive aggressively dissing Brooke. She tells Aaron Brooke loves to party, party, party all the time and she, Heather, can’t keep up. She’s young, too young, she says. Aaron tells us that is the first time anyone has said anything critical about Brooke.
Aaron really loves to hear the gossip from the women when they talk about each other. That’s when he’s the most engaged in the conversations. He seems really interested in other people’s opinions, too. I suppose it’s one way to get a glimpse into their personalities beyond the facades they present. But I think Aaron is someone who is concerned with other people’s opinions about himself and definitely who he’s involved with. Aaron tells us in the 11th hour the women are showing their “vindictive nature.” You mean their competitive side, dummy. They have no reason to feel vindictive unless we’re talking about Christi’s feelings about Suzanne.
The gang heads over to play skee-ball. Whoever wins the first game will win one on one time with Aaron on the carousel. Golly-gee, mister, you really mean it?! Christi throws up her hands, “I won!” Aaron tells us he didn’t really want to spend time with her so he made it two out of three. We hear Christi object, “Two out of three? That wasn’t what…” She tells us she thought it was weird, but she would just win the next game by double. Christi throws up her hands. She won again! Aaron doesn’t look too thrilled. He tells us he had “no choice” but to spend time with her.
They walk over to the carousel. Aaron is keeping a distance the way you would if you were walking with someone you’re not close to. Christi asks him how he’s doing. Pretty good, he says. Is she in a good mood? In an unconvincing voice Christi says, “Oh yeah! I’m having a great time!” We cut to Aaron who tells us he thinks Christi has like a “Fatal Attraction” type of thing going on. He had heard she was telling all the other girls she was in love with him. Which is true. She did. Many times. How is that any weirder than giving a practical stranger an engagement ring after six weeks on a TV show? Aaron says she was very emotional in Napa Valley as well and he just doesn’t understand why. Hasn’t he mentioned this multiple times already? It’s just dumb at this point. And Aaron doesn’t really care. He can’t wait to send her packing at the next rose ceremony, but the producers have to squeeze the last bit of drama out of this thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love drama. And Christi is fun because she has gone beyond the call of duty in her nuttiness. But I really disapprove of continuing to shame this girl by pretending she somehow needs to keep apologizing. I feel bad for her now and I’m really annoyed by Aaron. He needs to stop being such a bitch.
We cut to the two of them on the carousel and Christi is nervously trying to explain herself. She got off on the wrong foot with him. She made the wrong impression. She doesn’t want anyone to think she’s a mean person. She felt like Anindita was trying to imply Christi doesn’t like people. But Christi does like people. She wants everyone to feel comfortable around her.
Aaron is nodding his head while she rambles. He doesn’t care at all, but he adjusts his facial expression accordingly so he doesn’t come across like a total asshole. “But I’m not an emotional freak!” Christi says, sounding like someone who is about to freak. Aaron makes a face like, okay, whatever. He’s there, but he’s not really there. Christi has this look on her face, not sad or mad. She’s kind of looking at him like she’s confused or something. Like she’s just realizing Aaron doesn’t like her.
“What happened?! What did I do?! What did I say?!” Christi says to us. The first part of the date at Napa was great. They were looking at each other and flirting and holding hands. They kissed. On this date? There was none of that. We cut back to the carousel and Christi is still talking. She’s getting more flustered by the minute. She knew she had to talk to him about it, she tells him. She wanted to just forget about it, but she knew it was still bothering him. “Oh!” Aaron says like he had nodded off. “Well, a little bit…” Christi sounding a little choked up, says things have totally changed between them. “Yeah…” says Aaron. Looking for some kind of reassurance, Christi says things are weird now. “Huh?” Aaron says. He knows she’s looking for reassurance and he is not going to give any. “I just feel weird now,” Christi says.
We cut to Christi who says if they had met somewhere else, not on the show, she is certain they would be together. I don’t know why. I get that, on the surface, he really is her ideal guy. She’s 23 and from the mid-west like he is. He’s tall and she thinks he’s good looking. He’s well to do with a solid guaranteed career and so on. He’s exactly the kind of man she and her sorority sisters would have been squeeing about back at the sorority house. But I’m not understanding her confidence in believing she could make him fall in love with her. The evidence is not supporting the thesis, Christi. Craziness aside, she’s not even his type, really.
We cut to Aaron who tells us he is very interested in four out of the five girls on the group date. Geez, we get it, Aaron! You don’t like, Christi! He is so full of it, too. There’s not a single woman on this date he is remotely interested in. Not because they aren’t beautiful and everything, but because he’s really only innerested in Helene. To a lesser extent, Brooke. Maybe Gwen a little, too. Aaron says it will be tough to something something. It’s what he always says.
It’s the next day and Christi calls for Brooke. There’s a giant gift box for her on the front step. Christi’s tone of voice is happy. Like she’s happy for Brooke. No jealousy at all. I’m not buying it at all. In the box is a giant life-sized Teddy bear. All the girls ooh and ahh except Kyla who is eating her cereal. The card says Aaron is taking her to “The Cabin in the Sky” Big Bear Lake.
We cut to Aaron greeting Brooke by his plane with a bouquet of yellow roses. Even the roses keep it vague, sheesh. Brooke says watching Aaron fly his plane is a big turn-on. They arrive at Big Bear and travel by paddle boat to wherever they’re spending the evening. While on the boat, Aaron asks her about her family—she talks about her mom, her step-dad and her bio dad—but it’s not that interesting. She keeps it vague about her bio dad and just wraps it up by telling Aaron it’s a long story.
Back at the house, Christi is by the pool with Hayley. Christi had a great time on the group date, she tells her, but her one on one time with Aaron sucked. She was caught off guard by Aaron bringing up the Napa situation again. “I’m not getting a rose. I know that. Like, I-I know that.” So, she is just going to say what she wants. To Hayley and the cameras anyway. Christi is like, you know you said you wanted someone who would love you despite your flaws and mistakes. But at the first sign of a flaw you can’t get over it? Aaron is asking for something he’s not willing to give.
Christi is correct. Aaron is not interested in a woman being needy or having strong emotions in general as he finds such things vaguely threatening. He is not equipped, emotionally or psychologically, to navigate the challenge of any emotions expressed other than mildly. But, Christi is not in a relationship with him anyway and it is not reasonable to expect him to “love her despite her flaws and mistakes.” Her ego must be like, “This rejection will be fatal! I just want to liiiivve!”
We cut to Brooke and Aaron eating dinner outdoors. Brooke asks him questions about his life. He spent a year in Oklahoma with the woman he was engaged to at the time. He offers no details other than to say it was interesting. “Should I not ask you any questions? …just drop it,” Brooke jokes. And this is why Ryan and Melissa are wrong about Brooke being a good match for Aaron. Brooke seems pretty forthright. I think that’s a positive quality, but I really don’t think Aaron is someone who wants that or can handle it. Maybe I’m wrong (I don’t think I am), but I just think Brooke would be too direct for him.
Aaron immediately flips the conversation back to Brooke. This man has zero interest in sharing anything about himself. Brooke was engaged when she was 18 and Aaron wants to know about that. She was too young. Her mom didn’t approve. It became too much work etc.
We cut to Brooke who says she feels like her time with Aaron is the most romantic “relationship” she’s had in a long time. And it’s only been nine days, she says. Nine days?! That’s how you know it’s real. Aaron steers Brooke to the hot tub after dinner because of course he does. They cuddle and smooch in the tub. Brooke tells us she feels safe with him and he’s like her knight in shining armor. Aaron’s a blank slate. All the women can project whatever romantic qualities they want onto him. There’s no personality to get in the way.
We cut to Helene who reminds us that at the last rose ceremony, after telling Aaron she might leave the show, he gave her his phone number. We cut to some of the girls gathered in a bedroom at the house. It’s Shannon, Kyla, Gwen, Not Texas Heather and Helene.
“Why do you think he gave you his phone number?” Kyla asks. Her tone of voice is a bit more aggressive than I would have expected from her. “I sawl it as him bein’ a nice guy,” Helene says. Shannon, who is from Long Island, and if you know you know, is like, “It wouldn’t bawther you if [another girl] has his numbah and she could cawl him?” Kyla says a note asking her to stay so he could get to know her better would have been fine, but giving his number was “unnecessary.” Shannon is like, why are we here then? If Aaron has already picked, why are we being strung along? She tells Helene he’s pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes and to a certain extent she is, too. While Shannon is talking we can hear the sound of someone filing their nails extra loudly in the background. A nice touch from the sound editing team. “But I wasn’t hidin’ it because I rully didn’t think it was a big deal,” Helene says.
I don’t buy it. How did it come up? Why did she tell them at all? To flex. Shannon is like, but it is a huge deal. I agree, somewhat. It’s a contest and Aaron has already decided the winner. I understand why they’re pissed off. That said, Shannon and Kyla? Are so out of the race they’re running on a track in a different state.
Shannon keeps insisting whoever Aaron picked would be like a second choice to Helene. Or something like that. It’s all noise. There’s no depth here. Ego, pride and cash prizes (figuratively) are at stake, but true feelings? Of course not. Who cares if you were “second choice?” It would be, “I won!! I beat out 24 other girls to be Miss Aaron America!! I want to thank God for blessing me with this opportunity… Wait, did I just see Christi in the audience? Why is she making a slashing motion across her throat? Security!!”
We cut to Aaron and Brooke’s limo coming back to the manse. Texas Heather has been waiting. When Brooke walks in the front door we hear her calling Brooke, “Bama! Bama! Bama! Bama!” Heather is literally snapping her fingers at Brooke like she’s calling a dog into the house from the backyard. The other girls are there, too and they, but mostly Texas Heather, want to know how often Brooke and Aaron kissed. Brooke says it wasn’t open mouth kissing. Heather’s still going. “No French? No tongue? No spit swappin’?” Give it a rest, girl. Heather grabs the waist of Brooke’s jeans and yells, “She doesn’t have any panties on! Did you leave them in the limo? Aaron has them!” She’s smiling like she’s joking around, but I don’t think she is. She needs to chill.
It’s rose ceremony night. We cut to Helene who tells Aaron she needs to give him a heads up. She lets him know about the drama around Aaron giving her his number. “I told people I was close to or whatever, but a couple of other people found out about it and they were a little upset.” Aaron tells us he’s very stressed. The women sharing info with each other about their dates and such is freaking him out. Somebody get Aaron a Valium or something. Aaron and Helene are pretending the note didn’t mean anything. It was just a friend thing and wasn’t a big deal. They’re over analyzing, Aaron says. Right.
Next we see Texas Heather climb into Aaron’s lap. She’s taking the forward approach to seduction and all I can say is, wrong move, Heather. Aaron says, “I think she’s into me and if I don’t talk to her she’s gonna kick my ass.” Heather tells us she is 100% sure she wants a rose. Aaron is the type of guy she wants to bring home to her parents.
We cut to Aaron and Gwen. She is telling him she wants to know what’s going on in his heart and what he’s feeling. “Man, we’d be here for days if I went there,” Aaron says. I’m sure. Days waiting for him to say something interesting. “But that’s where I want to go,” Gwen says. He needs to tell her the truth, “Gwen, there isn’t anything in here. It’s void. Zilch. Zero.”
Aaron asks her if there’s anything specific she wants to know? Not that he’d reveal anything, but go ahead and ask, Gwen. She says she wants to know “everything,” all in good time. She’s not trying to rush him. He tells her she’s beautiful and a wonderful person. He’d like to get to know her better.
What a difference in how he talks to the other women compared to Helene. With her, it always sounds like he’s trying to tell her he likes her more than the others without actually saying it. With Gwen and Brooke, it’s just vague. He’s nice. He’s respectful. He’s affectionate and acts interested, but it’s non-committal. They can’t compare his behavior so they have no way of knowing how different he is with Helene. Being comprised of 80% cardboard, it’s not like he’s dramatically different, but I think it’s enough to be noticeable.
We cut to Brooke. She’s gotten all emotional. She’s dating this great guy, but he’s also dating “nine of my best friends.” I don’t think she means that literally. I think it’s kind of a southern exaggeration or something. Brooke says she feels stupid for developing feelings without keeping this in mind. We cut to her in the bathroom drying her eyes. “Excuse me,” she says with irritation to the camera person blocking her way out of the bathroom. I think Brooke might have a bit of a temper. Aaron wouldn’t be able to handle that either.
Brooke and Aaron talk. He asks her if she’s “stressing.” She says it’s “getting kinda real.” He says, “What do you mean? It is real.” Oh, shut up, Aaron. She tells him it’s hard to see him looking at the other women and seeing how they look at him. Giving him that direct energy I talked about earlier she says, “I’m afraid you’ll change your mind. Because you’re prone to change your mind.” It’s the tone. It’s got a little bit of a confrontational edge to it. Aaron says he has changed his mind a lot, but not about her.
We cut to Christi who says she had a “hard sleep” last night. Her dreams were all about Aaron and what would happen with the rose ceremony. We then cut to Christi and Aaron talking. She tells him, “I know you have concerns about me.” Christi, enough! It’s over. You lost the sale. She tells him she thought they had an initial “amazing connection.” Aaron agrees, but because of a “couple of situations” he has some doubts. At least Christi looks good tonight. Her dress looks great on her and her hair is really cute.
Chris calls everyone to the living room. It’s time for the rose ceremony to begin. Aaron looks relieved he can get away from Christi. He and Chris go into the deliberation room. We hear the usual spiel. He can’t make up his mind. They’re all so amazing. Things are getting real, blah blah.
Chris brings up Christi who he says has been “very emotional.” Aaron feels that Christi is a concern, because she’s been able to fall so head over heels in love with him in such a short amount of time. I guess the rule is it’s okay for Aaron to propose to someone after six weeks on a TV show, but it’s not okay to say you love him after two weeks on a TV show. I get it, I get it. It’s all pretend. And if you can’t differentiate between reality TV and real life, then you at least need to keep that crazy a bit more contained. Aaron says she “is very… emotionally unstable, if you will. That bothers me. I-I don’t know how to deal with her. I really don’t.” That is very clear Aaron. This show has made this very clear. Can we move on now?
Chris tells him each of the women have recorded personal messages for him:
Gwen says she enjoyed their beach date. No, she didn’t. She says she loved him letting his guard down and getting to know the “real” Aaron. I’m pretty sure the “real” Aaron behind his guard is mostly styrofoam, but if you say so.
Angela with her quiet serious voice says she had a great time getting to know him and the fun side of his personality. Sounds like it.
Kyla, who is as orange as a pumpkin, says she likes his honesty and that he’s a total cutie.
Texas Heather says she had a magical evening with him at the amusement park. She would love to find out if he’s a good kisser.
Not Texas Heather says she wants to get to know more about him.
Shannon says he’s a really great guy. Or, so she’s been told. Have these two ever talked?
Hayley says he’s a great guy and hopefully, they can get to know each other better.
Helene sing-songs she had a wonderful time at the Hollywood Bohhhwl. It wasn’t the extravagance going on all around them buhhht Aaron’s company she enjoyed the mohhhst.
Brooke feels they have an amazing deep connection. Or something like that. I wasn’t paying attention.
Christi is sorry about all the drama. Did she say she was sorry about all the drama? Because I think she really feels sorry about all the drama. Christi says if he trusts in their initial connection and is willing to give it a chance she thinks they can be great. Cool story, bro. No deal.
We cut to the ceremony room. The background music is something you’d expect at some reality TV competition where people have to go through physical gauntlets to prove their worthiness. It’s stupidly dramatic. I visualize this scene being filmed as it actually was. No dramatic music, no editing or camera angle changes. Just the women sitting around, waiting for the crew to get on with it.
We get the usual bullshit spiel from Aaron thanking the women for this and that and then we begin. *Heavy exhale* Angela is first. *Heavy exhale* Gwen. I’m a Gwen fan, but her hair looks dorky tonight. *Exhale* Brooke. She hesitates to accept the rose. Then says “…yeah.” Like she’s going against her better judgement, but she has no choice. It’s a strategy, I guess.
No exhale, Helene. She hesitates too, but then laughs and says she’s kidding. *Heavy exhale* Texas Heather. Christi is giving smiling pageant face. *Heavy exhale* Hayley. She says something flirty to Aaron, but she’s wasting her time at this point. Congrats on making the cut, I guess though.
The rejected ladies, especially Long Island Shannon, look unhappy. We cut to Christi who is crying. She insists she’s not an emotional basket case. Well, if she wasn’t before, thanks to the show, she is now. She says something is not right with the universe. She sniffles and cries she’s not going to be okay. Some girls, she says, didn’t say what they should have said. They are staying when they don’t really want to marry him. But she would have. But, Aaron didn’t see that so, what could she do? Sounds of sniffing and inhaling snot.
Christi, girrrl! Aaron could see that. We all could see that. The Star Trek Enterprise in outer space could see that. Her ego defense system can go to 11, but it’s all “I’m giving her all she’s got, Captain! She’s gonna blow!”
Next week, no Christi. Boooo! Texas Heather is revving her engine though. See you next episode!
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